Facing a Problem in your Relationship, Use these 5 Steps to Work Through it Together! by Colleen Sullivan, MFT
Solving a problem by yourself can be hard. It can be another battle entirely to resolve a problem with a partner. It’s difficult to even know where to begin, how to navigate creating a solution, and even more so, what steps to take to make it a smooth and effective conversation. Here we will describe a simple five step process to solving the next problem in your relationship.
Define the problem: Naming the problem is the first step in successful problem solving. What is actually going on that needs to be solved? Look at the issue at hand as the problem and not each other. You are allies working towards the same goal: resolving the issue to make a stronger relationship. At this point, it is important to acknowledge your partner’s feelings and to actively listen to your partner’s point of view. Open and honest communication is needed when solving any problem you may be facing.
Establishing Goals: What do you want to see happen for you as a couple? For your life together? What will bring the most joy or create the most successful outcome? With goals in mind it will help you stay focused on what you are both wanting to achieve.
Brainstorm Solutions: In your relationship you are a team! Collaborate to create a safe space so that all ideas can be comfortably shared. This should be a judgment free zone where all ideas are good ideas. Make it a fun and creative space where you and your partner can explore. All ideas; big, little, silly or serious, are welcome during this step. Uncovering and validating the needs of each other is key in identifying a workable solution.
Evaluate Solutions: After brainstorming, it's time to evaluate the solutions you have come up with. Weigh out the pros and cons together and see what is feasible and achievable. Choose one that is the best for the relationship, one that you both feel happy with. The art of compromise will play an important role in choosing the solution for both parties to feel heard.
Implement Solutions: Lastly, the solutions take flight. Put the solutions you have made into action and see the effects of your hard work.
It is ok if the first solution you try does not work out as planned, it’s simply more information. It’s an opportunity to observe and take notice of alternative solutions. Perhaps another solution you have not thought of will reveal itself. The most important thing is that you have worked as a team, created a safe space, and compromised and you can do it again! Reconvene and reassess to choose the next path. Our skilled therapist at Better Being Psychology Group are here to help, reach out and schedule an appointment to learn more!